Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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