Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
