ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize