dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
