wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
