I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I want to be your penis for a week.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
