capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
