Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My bed smells like the plague
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