scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I think my nap took me to another dimension
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
