Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
