lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
