I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
