What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
