Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
