There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
