As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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