if only i could text you this smell
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
