yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize