winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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