I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
