So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize