A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
