i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
