all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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