Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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