so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I would fuck him just for his dog
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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