her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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