I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
