The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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