Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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