Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
