hotel room ftw
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize