I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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