Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
