I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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