remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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