I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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