a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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