I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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