I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
