It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
