I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
