Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Girls should come with a carfax report
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
