You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
