i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
