I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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