Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
