Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
