She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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