I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
