Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Randomize
