I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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