He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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