So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
