I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
