Sry I called you an 8
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
