so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
