Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
