The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
