I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
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