apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
