just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You smell like stripper and shame
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
