Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
