I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize