good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
