Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
