Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize